GOD BLESS AMERICA

Today is the Fourth of July, and since it is an American holiday, I would like to take this time to remind Canadians how great our neighbour to the south is.

God Bless America.

I'm serious. Hating the USA and making fun of Americans seems to be Canada's national pastime, and I am sick of it. Canadians forget which side their bread is buttered on, or who we have to thank for our continued freedom. To paraphrase Jack Nicholson from "A Few Good Men", Canadians go to sleep every night under the blanket of freedom that America provides, and then they use that freedom to criticize the manner in which it is provided. Few countries in the world have been so helped by the United States, and few countries are less grateful for it. America buys more than 70% of our stuff, provides us with countless jobs, patrols our coastline, and sticks up for us when the rest of the world hangs us out to dry, and how do we thank them? By making fun of them and treating them like crap.

Too many Canadians think we have it so bad living next to America. Think again. We share the longest undefended border in the world. Our government and citizens can criticize America, but Americans don't respond by bombing our cities or rolling the tanks in. Ask the people of Tibet how much fun it is living next to Communist China. People around the world wear "Free Tibet" shirts, in the hope that one day, the Chinese might stop their brutal repression of Tibet. Nobody has to wear "Free Canada" shirts, do they? Ask the people of Chechnya or Ukraine how much fun it is living next to Russia. Chechnya elected a president who was openly critical of Russia, and the Russians responded by invading Chechnya and ousting the democratically elected government in favour of one that was prepared to kneel before their Russian masters. The Ukraine elected a government that wanted more independence from Russia, and Russia responded last winter by cutting off all natural gas shipments to the Ukraine. Meanwhile, Canada regularly gives the USA the finger, and the worst we have to endure in retaliation is strong words.

I'm not saying America is perfect, or that they've never done anything wrong. Certainly they deserve their share of criticism. We've had trade disputes with them, and they've been guilty of unfair protectionist rules. But let me tell you what the good ol' USA is like when the fucking chips are down. Too few Canadians remember, or even know, these stories.

Last year, our government decided that in order to continue our mission in Afghanistan, we would need some of our allies to provide some troops to back up our guys. Don't give me the argument that "Canada shouldn't be there". The argument is irrelevent. Whether we "should" be in Afghanistan or not does not matter. The cold, hard fact is that we ARE there, and we need to deal with the fact that our troops need help. Our government asked our European allies for help, and they all came up with excuses as to why they could not commit any combat troops. We asked the USA, and what did they do? They sent us 12,000 marines immediately, with another 10,000 to be deployed over the next year. They sent us helicopters, unmanned flying drones and night vision equipment to make patrolling the countryside more efficient and less dangerous. They did this without hesitation, conditions, or demands for compensation. The rest of the world sat in the dugout, and America went to bat for us. Candians forget this, don't they?

In 1994, the 50th Anniversary of D-Day, some rat bastard French hotel gave away the rooms our veterans had reserved to Swedish tourists. When our government complained, the French government said they couldn't interfere in the business of a privately owned hotel. Fortunately, America stood up for us, threatening to cancel the whole ceremony if something wasn't done. Under pressure from America, the French government forced the hotel to give the rooms back to the men who fought to liberate their ungrateful asses from the Nazis. Once again, America stands up for her friend Canada, and once again, Canada forgets the whole thing five minutes later, and goes back to taking pot shots at the country that may be her only friend in the world.

It's true that Americans don't know much about Canada. I understand that it annoys Canadians when America doesn't pay much attention to us. They have said and done things we didn't like over the years. Well, so fucking what? In the big scheme of things, America has been a pretty good neighbour. We don't live in fear of an American invasion, the way Chechnya lives in fear of Russia. Canadians don't live under brutal oppression, the way Tibet lives under the Chinese jackboot. When MP Carolyn Parish said "damned Americans, I hate those bastards", America didn't respond by massing tanks on our border and threatening us with violence. America buys our goods and raw materials, and overall is pretty good to us. A lot of Canadians have jobs because America is our biggest trading partner. So I, for one, say "God Bless America". I love them.

The bottom line for me is this: when the shit hits the fan, America has our backs. Maybe it's time we had theirs, too.