Things As They Are, Part 2

Buddhists say that suffering is caused by desire. Wanting things, whatever they are, and not getting them, leads to suffering. That is certainly true for a lot of my suffering.

We often get upset at circumstances, events or situations because we feel they shouldn't be happening. I have often asked myself "why must I put up with this?" Have you? I'm fairly certain you have. And yet one path to inner peace and less suffering is accepting things as they are. I have been trying my best to do that.

An enlightened man (whose name eludes me) once got hit by a taxi, and broke his leg. He said this about the accident: "My first thought was 'why me?' But the answer came to me immediately. 'Why not?' Who am I that I should not suffer? Am I so special that nothing bad should happen to me? Of course not."

Part of my unhappiness about my current situation - menial job, minimal pay - was my belief that I shouldn't be in this situation. I should have done this or that in the past. I should have gone back to school, taken training, etc. I made myself miserable by blaming myself and my mistakes for ending up where I am now. As I struggled to accept my situation, I realized something monumental: I may actually be where I am supposed to be. My choices in life did lead me here, but who is to say they were the wrong ones? I have opened myself to the possibility that, at least for now, I am where I belong. I may have only chose my path unconsciously, but I did choose it. This may even be where I want to be.

Realizing this was very liberating. Right now, at least, I don't feel like I'm in the "wrong" place. My reasons for choosing my path may have been weird (I know that being a "failure", at least financially, is a way to get back at my father. After all, it does piss him off), but the choice was mine. I don't know, but I'm open to the possibility.

I don't know where I'm headed yet in this life. I don't know what path I "should" take in the future. But I have accepted Things As They Are, and I have managed to take an honest look at what I really want and don't want. Instead of trying to force my square self into a round hole, I accept my real desires, and no longer judge them as "wrong". For example, I used to feel depressed because I don't own a house like most of my friends. I felt, at my age, I "should" be a home owner. I realized recently that I actually like renting. I don't want to own a home. I just thought I should. Being honest with myself, and accepting my real wants has made me feel a lot better.

I still suffer, but I when I get down, when I ask myself "why me?", I reply immediately "why not?" We all suffer to varying degrees. I am no different than any other person. Accepting that I will suffer, as we all suffer, makes it easier to deal with. It's like M. Scott Peck said in his book, "The Road Less Travelled". Life is hard. When you accept that, you can transcend it. That's what I'm trying to do. It's not easy, but I keep going. I hope you do, too.