It's Just Money

Until recently, I have been stressed out about money. It began in earnest a couple of months ago, when my ex-wife wanted me to pay for my daughter's summer day camp. I have no problem with being asked to cover that, I was just stressed out about where the hell I was going to come up with almost $1,800.

Then money problems like that became a full-blown catastrophe. The car I'm driving has required several expensive repairs (front wheel bearing for $360, for example), and now needs its suspension replaced. Great. Another $900 or so. I've bought my own car, but that bad boy's going to need at least $400 to get it ready to drive. There's a bunch of other little things I won't bore you with. I did some math, and the bottom line is I need about $3,000 that I don't have, and I need all of it soon. This means going back into debt, not that long after finally getting out. Crap. I was intensely depressed about this until I realized that it's just money.

I thought about it, and realized that if I have to get a friend to co-sign another loan, and I have to make small monthly payments for two years again, so what? Who cares? It's just money. It comes, it goes, I have to pay the bills just like everyone else, and if I'm left with $200 at the end of each month, what difference does it make? It would be nice to be able to save up some real cash or contribute to an RSP, but in the end, I have the big, important stuff.

I have my health. Sure, I'm no spring chicken anymore. I have a few aches and pains and I don't heal as fast as I used to, but other than insomnia, I have no terrible, chronic health problems. Since ditching my anti-depressants, I've lost 15 pounds, so I even look okay. I still struggle with depression sometimes, but I have learned to do things to combat it, and most of the time, I'm okay. Much better than just a few years ago.

I have a lot of great friends, and I enjoy hanging out with them. I have my share of fun, good times and laughs with my friends. I have a wonderful daughter who's smart, sweet, and is developing a twisted sense of humour, just like her old man. I get along with my ex-wife and her husband (for the most part), and I know a few people who don't. Sure, some of the members of my immediate family suck - I'm talking to you, Dad - but most of them don't, and I have some really cute nieces and a nephew who's adorable.

I'm not loaded with cash, and I don't have a lot of assets, but my refrigerator isn't empty, my bed's pretty comfortable, and I have a job. I often find myself wishing I had money to travel or for cool sports cars, but it's just money. I'll get by, one way or the other, and gettin' by is what matters. Things could be a lot worse.

So I've decided to stop worrying about money or letting myself get depressed for not being rich. I've decided to do my best to stop complaining every time something expensive happens, and to try to stop being envious of others. As long as I have the important stuff, I'll be okay.